Could I doubt the Lord?

Well hello there:)
This blog is more for me than anyone else. However, if you are reading this, welcome:)

Elder Tanner Spriggs
Rancagua, Chile
March 13

Today has been incredible. I have been blessed with the most amazing friends anyone could ask for. I know a lot of people have been saying this lately but I just want to reiterate it. How incredibly humbled I am to have so many friends going on full time missions for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 
There has been SO much talk about missions since October, when the announcement was made that young men and women could serve missions at younger ages. It used to bother me. It used to bother me a lot, but my attitude has been changed as I have been put into my place by my Father in heaven for the negative feelings I had.
It bothered me that so many people were just 'up and going,' "They didn't even think about it," I thought to myself. I was upset. I look back now and feel frustrated at myself that I felt that way. I can still see why I did, and I can understand why other people would think that too. Here's why I feel frustrated though, I judged those people. I thought to myself, "They don't know what they're getting into, they didn't even think about it." What?! Really? How did I know that? I didn't. I wasn't even sensitive to other peoples reactions, I was selfish, because I didn't know what was right for me. I was upset because of other peoples success and confirmation. This reminds me of Elder Holland's talk, (Thanks to Rachel for telling me the actual name of the talk, and I always ask her.... You know that one talk where they talk about this.... she knows the reference more often than not. I definitely look up to her and her knowledge.) The Laborers in the Vineyard where he says: "Brothers and sisters, there are going to be times in our lives when someone else gets an unexpected blessing or receives some special recognition. may I plead with us not to be hurt--and certainly not to feel envious-- when good fortune comes to another person? We are not diminished when someone else is added upon. We are not in a race against each other..."

Elder Korbin Smoot
Kampla, Uganda
March 5

Now I can see how I was wrong, and I am glad I know what I do now. I know that the Lord wants his work to be hastened, and it's not about "people going just because." That's not what it is, and that's not what it is supposed to be about. This is about the great revelation given to our prophet through Jesus Christ himself, to hasten his work. He wants more missionaries because he wants his brothers and sisters to know of him, to "follow thou me" (2 Nephi 31:10) and be baptized. Our father in heaven wants his children to come back to him, and how could I have ever for one second doubted him. Once again, I feel so humbled to have had this realization for myself, so that I can look on the great hastening of the work with positive feelings and not worry about what anyone else thinks.
I was feeling scared, I was losing trust in the Lord because of my decision to serve a mission. I was feeling like everyone was against me, I felt like people were looking down on me for being young and wanting to go 'just like everyone else'. When I was in the middle of all this my best friend, Joseph Brewer, said something to me that I don't intend to forget. He said, "Sam, they aren't doubting  you, they are doubting the Lord." Wow. I realized that is what I was doing with people, people I didn't even know, because I was jealous; jealous that they had gotten answers that I had yet to receive. God has made this announcement because at this time "the youth today are stronger than they have ever been before in the history of the Church" (President Thomas S. Monson, Church Leaders Discuss the "Hastening of the Work") God knows what he is doing, we cannot for a second doubt him, and his confidence in his children. If you are feeling inadequate or feeling lost you have to remember that God loves you. God believes in you. God wants  you to succeed. God's opinion is the only opinion that truly matters.

Elder Matthew Mathias
Indianapolis, Indiana
February 27

I do believe a mission is a very personal thing. It just took me a while to realize what that meant. It is not going to be the same for everyone; personal, you see. I laugh at myself for being so ignorant. I thought, "Well if it's so personal then why does everyone talk about it all the time, why does everyone have to post it on Facebook, why does everyone invite people over when they open their call?" I was confused. My personal way of going about things is more of a private matter. Someone else's personal way of going about it might be to share it with people. I am glad I realized this because, Wow. How AMAZING! I am so grateful for the friends I have, I am so happy that I have so many incredible people in my life that are so proud of what they are doing! They are so happy to be serving the Lord, and they want to share it with people. What is wrong with that?? Nothing. There is nothing wrong with it. It is so amazing that we have such strong and confident youth. I feel so blessed to call them my friends.
This has been on my mind a lot lately, it really just feels nice to let it all out.
It's nice to know that we live in a place where we know the truth, where we can know of God, and worship him as we please.I know that any mistakes I make can be made right through my savior Jesus Christ. I know that even if I did doubt the Lord, even if just for a second, that I can be made clean again. I can have my faith in the Lord fully restored because of the atonement of Jesus Christ. I know that God is on our side. When I am doing the Lord's work, he is going out of his way to give me reassurance and blessings that I certainly don't NEED, but maybe just want, because he loves me, and he wants me to continue following the path that he sent his son to establish. I know this is true. I know it with everything inside of me. I am so grateful for the truth I have in my life.